People’s perception of us is influenced by what and how we say and do things; how we respond.

People’s perception of us is influenced by their experience of us.  Yes there are other factors which impact the degree to which you are able to influence the perception of others. Most of these you have no or little control over. Factors such as their up bringing, education, life experiences etc. However, I believe there are things that we can do to influence others’ perception of us.

Such things as the way I deliver my messages:

• The language I choose.
• The emotion I bring to bear (my tone of voice etc).
• My body language.
• The timing of the message.
• My intention behind the message.

All these elements fuel others’ perception of me. All these elements I am able to control.

What I am talking about is nothing new. Tom Marshall (2002) describes the “what” and “how” of engagement, of leadership as the dimensions of intelligence that underpin leadership. And let’s face it, at its core leadership is about engagement. The relationships. And relationships are affected by people’s perception of one another. The dimensions Marshall refers are the:

• Cognitive – the ability to reason i.e. put forward an argument.  In other words the language you choose.
• Behavioural – recognising the impact of your body language e.g. tone of voice etc.
• Emotional – balancing thought and deed and using appropriate emotion to convey the message. As the actor conveys the emotion on stage so we believe his/her message.
• Spiritual – having a sense of reason or intent, and being genuine/truthful with the intent.

What does this all mean for me?

Some might say we have the power to control the “what” and the “how” of our message i.e. how we respond. That we are the masters of our own destiny. If indeed this is true (and I do believe it is) then we are able to influence others’ perception of us.  Manage how we respond to others through word and deed. Thereby influencing their perception of us.

Have you ever experienced a situation were someone has had a particular opinion of you? And by virtue of what you say and do with them (i.e. your responses) you influence their opinion of you?

Think about the parent/child relationship. Here opinions are influenced daily by what is said and done. Perceptions are moved.

What is the relevance then, for business?

I suggest in business as in life we ought to become more conscious of our ability to influence the perception of others. Think about that last successful business pitch.  You made them buy from you.

By developing and improving your awareness of the impact of what you say and do, you will be better equipped to influence others’ perception of you. How? By:

• Observing and reflecting on what you say and do in situations.  Watching how you respond to people, situations and yourself.
• Gathering feedback and feed forward from those close to you or indeed clients.
• Practicing your message delivery.
• Listening to how others respond and considering the appropriateness for similar circumstances in which you find yourself.

Others’ perception of us is driven by ourselves.  We have the power to change it…