Anticipation is the single biggest factor in preparing for a presentation, pitch or meeting. Think about it for a moment…

What do you anticipate before the proverbial pitch or presentation?

Are you reflecting on factors outside your “circle of influence”? Will they like me/us? I hope this isn’t boring. I can’t wait till it is over. Will they ask me something I don’t know?

I’m writing this blog post as I anticipate the arrival of my son. Here there are loads of things I know I’m thinking about, most of which I am unable to control.

Do we do the same with pitching and presenting?

I believe we do, as we tend to do the same with most things in life. We seemingly focus on the elements we have little or no influence over.

When you are looking at an audience and anticipating their response; in other words not genuinely listening to them. Not being in that moment. I believe you are walking a slippery slope.

Instead of thinking about how you might respond to them, I suggest focus on breathing diaphragmatically. Then believe in yourself and the preparation you have done. This assumes you have done your preparation; thus leaving you able to respond truthfully when each moment arises.

A measure for how much and what to say could be…

Whether or not what you are about to say may be useful to your audience or interesting.

This is similar to my earlier piece on Authenticity is Leadership Presence. I suggest that placing your focus on such things that are outside your “circle of influence” may be highlighting a value which does not serve you all that well.

Ask yourself: is what I am about to say interesting or useful for them?

Then in the context of a pitch or presentation I would suggest focusing on what is inside your “circle of influence”:

• The techniques I will employ to manage my nerves.
• Varying the tone of my voice.
• Practice, Practice, Practice so I can pause, take a breath, speed up, drop or raise an inflection when I need to.
• Know the space I’m are going to present in. Call the venue and if possible go along to see the space beforehand.

In a prospecting meeting I was recently asked how I help others. Thinking about this for a moment, I realised that I have come to a place in my life where my intentions and behaviour is such that I am no different when I am with a client as I am with my family or friends. As the meeting went on we discussed the proverbial. Part of this was reflecting on the reasons for “leaving the corporate world”. Phrases such as its in-authenticity and its focus on “me, myself and I” appeared as the order of the day.  A little controversial perhaps. What I mean is, we generally agreed that people spend a lot of energy being someone they believe others want them to be. Interestingly, usually based on their perception of what they think others want them to be. And not grounded in genuine, honest feed forward or feedback.

We play a great number of roles in our life time…

In my opinion we all play a number of various roles in our life. Wife, husband, mother, brother, friend, work colleague etc. I believe there is one single truth in all the roles you play. You. I suggest the more congruent you are to YOU; your true self at all times, the deeper your personal and professional relationships become.

PRES and self-knowing…

One of the elements of PRES is understanding your values and knowing how your values impact your thoughts, decisions and actions, and living true to these values.  This I believe is self-knowing. It is authenticity.

How can you truly develop and improve your own leadership presence?

I do not believe you can unless you begin to understand your values and their impact on you, your thoughts and decisions and crucially the way you behave.

Accessing coaching myself together with life’s wonderful tapestry of experiences, I have spent time coming to a genuine acceptance of self. Appreciating the values I hold dear. Oh no, I hear you cry. Not another spiritual blog post. No indeed, not another spiritual blog post, but a reflection on what it is to be authentic:

• Understand your values and reflect them in word, thought and deed.
• Consider (not evaluating/critiquing) the appropriateness of the point above in any given situation you find yourself.
• Decide whether your values are useful for you and/or the situation or merely interesting.
• Use a coach to help you re-programme your thinking, where appropriate.

Are you truly YOU when you are chairing the meeting, meeting clients, and standing cooking in the kitchen?

I recently re-tweeted my agreement with a blog post on Leading Blog: 5 Leadership Lessons: Where Negative Emotions Come From , but I also disagreed with what I understood was the solution to remedying such negative emotions described in the post. I do believe that “the more intense the negative emotion, the more the “sufferer” becomes detached from reality and is incapable of reasoning clearly.” Our coaching service is primed for helping individuals with this kind of challenge.

I fundamentally disagree with the blog post’s sentiment, that “keeping an eye on the factors leading to negative emotions can help you to stop the negative emotion the moment they are triggered”. And is not the best possible way to rid yourself of such inappropriate negative emotions.  There’s more to it.

Does the road to happiness really depend on being able to simply push negative emotions/thoughts out of mind?

Actually, research suggests that such thought suppression is far more likely to increase, rather than decrease, misery. It is like trying not think of a polar bear when you’re told not to think about a polar bear.  In my opinion we need to replace the negative destructive emotions with more positive solution-focused alternatives.

In short we need to know…

1. How to use a pen or pencil.
2. How to keep the “perfect diary” of authentic positivity.
3. How to carry out small acts of kindness.
4. How to develop a “gratitude attitude”.

Simples?

Writing about perception in a previous post, and recently chatting to colleagues and new business prospects has given me more food for thought.  We make judgements every second of the day, and those judgements influence our perception. This perception is driven by what and how they do and say things, but crucially by how we interpret what they are saying and doing.

I’m not getting into any major psychological debate.  Mainly because I not a psychologist (by no stretch of the imagination). Suffice to say what I do know is our hard-wiring drives automatic perception. Our non-automatic perception is driven by how we consciously choose to focus our thinking.

In other words we have the ability to choose the mental filter we see through; the filters through-which we see people and situations. This choice of filter significantly affects how the world appears to us.  How people may appear to us. Their appearance may be deceptive. It may not be the truth.

Are we choosing the most appropriate filter?

I believe, sometimes we do not choose the most appropriate filter.  We formulate our opinions based on an “already pre-programmed map” of interpretation of what we hear and see.  And of course this map is influenced by our history, experience, education, upbringing, cultural background etc. But the bottom line is; through awareness and reflection we can choose the filter. We can think differently. Recently I was with a colleague, who is lets say extremely outgoing. Some on the other hand might say brash. But he is very successful. We were chatting about business etc. when I asked: what has driven you to this point in your life? There was quite a long pause, and then a response. The appearance, the perception I got of him was something completely different to what I had expected. I had formulated an opinion. I used a pre-programmed map. This opinion, this map was shattered by his response.

I am not saying don’t have an opinion. I am saying don’t let your opinion, your perception cloud what you see/what you hear. I believe our perception of others is driven by our own interpretation of what we see, hear, feel, think etc.

What does this all mean?

Choosing to experience any given moment for what it is with non-judgement; requires attention. Attention to the way we think. It requires us to choose a way of thinking that may be different to our previously pre-programmed responses. Responses such as: I’m just like that. I’ve always just done things this way. That’s just me. That’s just them. In the example I refer above, my pre-programmed response to someone brash was to switch-off. However, by placing my attention on them and the way I was thinking in this moment, I chose to ask a question which I believe was useful to me and helpful for the individual. I altered the way I thought in that situation.

What’s the result of changing the way you think?

In this example he shared with me experiences and feelings that altered our relationship. The manor in which he did this was entirely different to what I anticipated. My perception of him fundamentally changed. His “appearance was no long deceptive”. We have a mutually respectful and deeper understanding of each other.

In choosing the way we think in any given moment, we are able to enrich our relationships and influence the the perception of others.

Another festive season has drawn to a close. The end of the year has come and gone. It’s a new year, new begining; a new “presenting” you. Indeed we are all facing a new year which promises to be huge, well for the UK at least. We have The Queen’s Golden Jubilee celebrations and the Olympics in the summer. Oh, and of course the exciting arrival of my little son in May. But we also have to draw in the business, in a real tough market place.

Have you set yourself New Year’s resolutions, goals or have you added to your bucket list?

I hope you have been kind to yourself, regardless of the approach you take to your 2012 business aspirations.  We all know that goal-setting is only effective if the goals are realistic and timely. Don’t set yourself up to fail.

Is this the year you truly embrace presenting, and enjoy making your business grow?

I have listed a few thoughts on how you and your business could grow, if you spend some time developing your presentation skills:

• Put yourself forward as a speaker – at your networking group, at your industry conference or anywhere else you could raise your profile.
• Spend some time watching others present – ask: what makes them good, bad, indifferent?  Who connects with you, and how do they do it?  Is it their voice, the content, their presence or something else?
• Where would your public speaking possibly enhance your business/professional profile?  You are an expert in your field; set yourself a challenge of getting a speaking slot at the best place for you, and your business to be seen.
• Enhance your skills as a presenter – work with a specialist. I would naturally suggest us. We’ve have been delivering presentation skills coaching for years. Working with a specialist will give you the opportunity to practice the skills in a safe, supportive and challenging environment.  I believe it’s a huge expectation of self to be brilliant first time round.  I suggest invest the time and money in you, and your business will reap the rewards in the long-term.
• Finally , chat a lot.  Yip, speak out loud every chance you get – if you have children read to them more. Play with your voice and notice how much it can impact the message you are delivering.

Food for thought? Let me know how you get on.

In my Top Tips I refer to being “grounded” as standing in a neutral position. It is:

• Not leaning to one side.
• Not dropping one hip lower than the other.
• Not shuffling from side to side.
• Standing with your feet shoulder-width apart.
• Making sure your knees are not locked; you feel comfortable.

This will help you feel in control of your body. You will also give others a sense of your personal presence.

The reference to performing…

On stage or in front of camera we call it a neutral, but ready position. This means the actor is ready to move into any other position that the character requires. In fact in some productions all the actors remain on stage throughout the play; even when they are not actively participating.  These “non-participative” actors will always be standing in a neutral position. This ensures they do not detract from the main action taking place.

Think about the last time you watched someone present who shuffled constantly from side to side, from one foot to the other. It distracted from what they were saying, from their presence.

When you are next in the theatre if the actors are required to never leave the stage, I guarantee you will see “non-participative” actors shuffling, and not standing in a neutral position. He/she will be the person you notice for the wrong reasons.

What does being grounded really feel like?

For me being grounded is a state of alertness, confidence. It’s a readiness, and a way of being totally in control of my space. When I am presenting this is how I want to feel. I want to own “the stage”, the space.  I want this, so I can concentrate on my delivery. On my content and how I am saying it. How I am connecting with my audience. (I am making assumptions that you know your content – see Prepare, Prepare, Prepare).

Being grounded contributes to your personal presence. It is your foundation upon which you build your delivery.  Build from the ground up…

Familiar?  When it comes to breathing and presenting (in essence multitasking) our natural instinct to breathe all but disappears. The nerves get in the way. We may think: I need to get the content of this presentation right (the message). Oh lord people are watching me (that’s a given, you are presenting). I’m sweating. My voice is wobbly. I suggest all of these issues, including the “wobbliness” in my voice is managed by my breath.

I am not only talking about standing at a podium for some major public speaking event (although the same principles most definately apply). I am referring to the times when you may be pitching for new business, addressing the board, engaging your team, delivering a difficult message to a member of staff. In all these instances you are presenting.  As a consequence, in my opinion, there is too much thinking about what is being said and less about how it is said. Yes there is preparing your content, that’s a given. But what about rehearsing your content. In my experience of presenting and presentation skills coaching what tends to take hold of the presenter, without appropriate rehearsal/practice, is unmanageable nervousness; “a wobbliness” in the voice sets in.

What can I do to change “the wobbliness” in my voice?

Breathe. Breathe diaphragmatically. Belly breathing. In Top Tips Emma points out that breathing into your belly is the fundamental way to:

• Manage nerves.
• Integrate pauses into the message (so people have time to digest what is being said and you have time to breathe).
• Encourage listening.
• Create impact (dramatic tension as apposed to nervous tension) - enhancing your personal presence.

How do I change “the wobbliness” in my voice?

Practise, practise, practise. Yip I’ve mentioned this one before. Not only practicing the content so you know what you’re going to say, but practice the content out load using belly breathing to ensure you know when to breathe.  When to pause. Belly breathing is the fundamental way you can manage your nerves.

Here are some practical home-based exercises (10 minutes) you can do regularly to improve the strength of your diaphragm, and thus dilute “the wobbliness” of your voice when you next present. I guarantee if you do these exercises regularly (daily) you will improve your ability to breathe diaphragmatically, and in turn better manage your nerves.

1. Stand with your feet hip-wide apart. Face a wall. Place one hand on your belly and visualise the air going into your lungs as you take in a breath.  See the air travel down your oesophagus and into your belly. Keep your shoulders level. Take in the breath, and release the air on a hum.  Imaginatively touching the point on the wall with your breath. Do this at least a dozen times.
2. Hum a tune to yourself.  Take in a breath as above, and on letting out the air hum a tune until you have about 10% of air left in your lungs. Stop. Breathe in again and repeat. Each time trying a slightly higher pitch. Then a lower pitch. Play with the range in your voice.
3. If it feels difficult to manage the sound of your voice from your belly try the same two points above, this time lying down on your back.

All this may sound rather dramatic, it is. But I’m guessing creating and managing the drama in your voice yourself is better than feeling the drama of being out of control. Or indeed the drama of the nerves controlling you. Doing these exercises is essentially moving away from only focusing on the thinking associated with preparation, and stepping closer towards the doing of preparation. Breathing from your diaphragm helps you do “the doing”.

Next time you are going to present:

As you sit in the meeting/get up to present - breathe.

As the nerves surge through you – breathe.

As you are about to speak – breathe.

As you wait to respond to others – breathe.

People’s perception of us is influenced by their experience of us.  Yes there are other factors which impact the degree to which you are able to influence the perception of others. Most of these you have no or little control over. Factors such as their up bringing, education, life experiences etc. However, I believe there are things that we can do to influence others’ perception of us.

Such things as the way I deliver my messages:

• The language I choose.
• The emotion I bring to bear (my tone of voice etc).
• My body language.
• The timing of the message.
• My intention behind the message.

All these elements fuel others’ perception of me. All these elements I am able to control.

What I am talking about is nothing new. Tom Marshall (2002) describes the “what” and “how” of engagement, of leadership as the dimensions of intelligence that underpin leadership. And let’s face it, at its core leadership is about engagement. The relationships. And relationships are affected by people’s perception of one another. The dimensions Marshall refers are the:

• Cognitive – the ability to reason i.e. put forward an argument.  In other words the language you choose.
• Behavioural – recognising the impact of your body language e.g. tone of voice etc.
• Emotional – balancing thought and deed and using appropriate emotion to convey the message. As the actor conveys the emotion on stage so we believe his/her message.
• Spiritual – having a sense of reason or intent, and being genuine/truthful with the intent.

What does this all mean for me?

Some might say we have the power to control the “what” and the “how” of our message i.e. how we respond. That we are the masters of our own destiny. If indeed this is true (and I do believe it is) then we are able to influence others’ perception of us.  Manage how we respond to others through word and deed. Thereby influencing their perception of us.

Have you ever experienced a situation were someone has had a particular opinion of you? And by virtue of what you say and do with them (i.e. your responses) you influence their opinion of you?

Think about the parent/child relationship. Here opinions are influenced daily by what is said and done. Perceptions are moved.

What is the relevance then, for business?

I suggest in business as in life we ought to become more conscious of our ability to influence the perception of others. Think about that last successful business pitch.  You made them buy from you.

By developing and improving your awareness of the impact of what you say and do, you will be better equipped to influence others’ perception of you. How? By:

• Observing and reflecting on what you say and do in situations.  Watching how you respond to people, situations and yourself.
• Gathering feedback and feed forward from those close to you or indeed clients.
• Practicing your message delivery.
• Listening to how others respond and considering the appropriateness for similar circumstances in which you find yourself.

Others’ perception of us is driven by ourselves.  We have the power to change it…

As some of you will know I am a massive Apple fan. I have had the last three IPhones; just upgraded to the most recent one. Although it’s typical, they are now bringing out IPhone 5. I also play with the IPad2, which I must admit I love; perhaps a little too much. I can’t really justify getting a Mac as this PC is still quite new. Enough of my Apple love!

In what way have Apple products had an impact on presentation delivery?

I was recently working with an IPad user, who had their IPad attached to a projector and using her IPhone as a “clicker”.  Two years ago, who would have thought something like this was at all possible? The use of Apple products, such as I refer, makes rehearsing with your technology even easier. There is no excuse for anything going wrong; you have them at home; practice, practice, practice.

I have also noticed that more people are using IPads to demonstrate their wares in face-to-face meetings.  This, in my mind, can only be a good thing as we all know Apple products are great for visuals.  However regardless of how amazing these products are, it was “the man that brought them to life.”  His passion and presence was truly inspirational.  Witness it here.

I believe the Apple products, for which Mr Jobs had led the development of, have influenced the way we all present.  More importantly however, Steve Jobs reminds me of the POWER of the PERSON in good presentation.

He truly was an inspiring man; one we could all learn from.

I liken “good leadership” to genuine love.  I do!  It’s individual and crucially circumstantial, all at the same time.  True?

There is that wondrous (some might say) song: “Love Changes Everything”.  I’d say love does influence a great deal in a relationship.  It is, in my opinion ever-changing.  Love is never static.  Our love for each other rarely stays the same.  Why?  We change.  Circumstances change.  We get older, hopefully wiser.  We expect more or less from our respective other.  We connect with each other differently from when we first met.  Perhaps we do less and say more in our relationship, or vice versa.  Then there are “the externals” that have an impact on our changing love; for example children, finance, divorce etc.  All these factors (personal and “environmental”) to a greater or lesser extent ensures our love for each other is ever-changing.

I believe we can draw parallels from our ever-changing love with leadership.  Leaders in business must change their approach to engaging others as circumstances change, and crucially as relationships change.  They must adapt to grow their business.  They must change to survive the current economic downturn (love that phrase?).  Of course leadership is about what and how you do it.  How you engage and what you engage others with.  Its how you connect.  However, this engagement, this influence (call it what you like) doesn’t happen in a vacuum.  Its contextual.  Situational.  There are the ”externals” as I said not least of all the “economic downturn”.

Then there is the individual-like aspect of love and leadership.  What?  Well love is an individual-like thing.  I’m guessing your love for your mother is not the same as your love for your spouse/partner etc.  I believe what makes you a “good leader” is significantly tied to you. Your disposition (ooh nature/nurture argument fodder for another blog post I think).  Suffice to say I believe what makes you a “good leader” is you in the business.  You in the environment – the organisation you find yourself in with its specific norms, its systems and culture. It is how you respond.

Love is the same.  Love and leadership is uniquely tied to you and where you are.  We all think about and act “on that love” differently.  And from situation to situation.  We think about and act “on that leadership” differently from situation to situation.

What does this mean for leadership?

• Understand what drives you and others.  What motivates your thinking and how you act in given circumstances, and with whom.
• Recognise what you and others might require and respond to it truthfully.  As you would in love.
• Acknowledge the systems, the culture, the environment and consider their influence on your leadership.
• Appreciate the relationships.  Like love leadership needs a relationship to foster, nurture and grow.  Spend time on it.

Finally I beleive if we did ever stop to think about leadership in this way, something we have know for centuries, we would have quite a clear succinct definition…

Love and leadership, one and the same?